* * *
* * *
Once, Crowley and Aziraphale tried falling in love.
Crowley liked the longing looks and secret smiles, but sex was a problem. Crowley found the funky human smells vaguely repellant and the feverish light in Aziraphale's eyes unnerving, but he kept at it until suddenly the absurdity struck him in mid-thrust and he had to pull away from Aziraphale, laughing helplessly. Aziraphale lay still, growing pinker and pinker with embarrassment.
"I think this was a bad idea," Aziraphale said, when he had got over the urge to seriously hurt Crowley.
"I'll never bring it up again," Crowley promised.
He never did.