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And all the kingdoms thereof
by afrai

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It was in the early '70s that Hastur appeared in Hell after a week above, looking haunted.

"Oi," said Ligur companionably, but Hastur ignored the greeting.

"Where's Himself?" he said. He licked his lips, darting a nervous look around.

Ligur blinked. It wasn't unnatural to be a little nervous in Hell, but generally demons had got used to the paranoia. Hastur was acting like one of the doomed.

"Who wants to know?" he said, suspicion stirring in the sludgey depths of his mind.

"Look, mate, this is no time for playin' games. Just tell me," said Hastur, and then, "Oh shite -- "

A figure of medieval grandeur rose from the barren wasteland. The ground wobbled sickeningly. For a heart-stopping moment, the fires of hell winked out, as if from pure terror. The screams of the doomed dwindled abruptly to whimpers in the dark.

"I jus' offered the Earth and all the kingdoms thereof," Hastur babbled. "I never said anything about here! I dunt know what happened!"

"Is this it?" said Lionel Luthor. He beamed. The fires sprang up again, their heat and evil increased a thousandfold, and the souls of the doomed shrieked in chorus, like a welcome home. "Not bad."

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